I lost the bet...

I never, and I mean NEVER do this stuff! In fact, I won't pass this on to anyone else for this reason! Sorry! But I do owe my cara amica Rachel Brown Deserca a wall post for her, so we'll see if this satisfies the deal. Probably not. But as good ole Vizzini always said before his passing, "You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!" I'll be sure to watch myself next time...

NOTE: As I said at the bottom of the post (which you won’t get to), I stated that most of my friends wouldn’t get past the first half of the first page before doing a quick skim of the rest and calling it good, to which I commend you. You are my friends. I hand picked you all and I expect and deserve nothing less than this behavior from each of you. You know the drill. I rant and every once in awhile you tune in and pick up a Kyle Kenny gem to cherish and rehearse to your friends.

5 TV Shows I Love to Watch
1-24! (especially Seasons 1, 2&4. Season 4 rocks so much because the villain is so badass. My friends and I thought he was Billy Zane for a bit and still call him that. He is actually Imhotep from "The Mummy." To continue on the Billy Zane tangent, read Arnold Vosloo's imdb message board. You won't be disappointed. Most notably this: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0903677/board/thread/59806900

Of course, Jack Bauer is so awesome that I am certain he will replace Chuck Norris for all of those Chuck Norris-isms that you see on Wal-mart posters and geek blogs. "Chuck Norris fought with a knife and the knife lost." Yeah those ones. Yes Season 6 was kind of a joke and I admittedly didn't watch the second half for time reasons, but I was told not to watch the rest of it, so I heeded friends' advice. But now that the writer's strike is over good things are abound for 24, season 7. GO 24! Jack Bauer is my hero, and yes he would find a way to kill James Bond AND Jason Bourne at the same time if necessary. Kiss it, Mark Mills! I could write a blogpost about this.

2-The Simpsons - Anything that can go on for 20 seasons is hall of fame material. Simpsons is like the M*A*S*H of my generation, but bearable to watch (jk, I never gave MASH a chance)! You even get these rip off shows that try to be like Simpsons, like Family Guy. I know alot of people like to think Family Guy is better, and I do love the randomness of Family Guy, but if you've ever watched the two, Family Guy rips off material from the Simpsons more frequently than you want to believe, which winds you down a sorry path of loser denial. Family Guy is like what Apple is to Microsoft, a dirty cousin who pretty much offers the same thing but tries to look a little flashier and holier-than-thou for the sake of making people falsely believe they actually purchased something unique. Anyway, my life is so integrated with the Simpsons. It is almost sickening to watch to Simpson's buffs in the same room. When you stick me in a room with my brother Nick Kenny, people hate being around us because all we do is crack Simpson's quotes and laugh at them, leaving everyone else feeling left out and confused.

3-Futurama- Futurama is a show of its own. In a nutshell, Matt Groening takes the Simpsons, Seinfeld, and any other type of '90s pop culture and tries to emulate it 1000 years into the future. Robots that steal from their friends and drink alcohol to fuel their system, Slurm, death by Snoo-snoo, the Hypnotoad, the big green alien newsbroadcaster, Dr. Zoidberg, the Robot Mafia, and of course Evil Robot Santa! It seriously doesn’t get too much better than that! HUZZAH!

4-Seinfeld. I know it's old but I never get tired of it. I remind myself of Jerry sometimes when I talk about people I've dated. Plus I dance kind of like Elaine. (haha I just copied this from Rachel J)

5-X-men Classic – The original x-men cartoon from the early ‘90s is about as awesome as it comes. Saturday mornings couldn’t be the same without it. I don’t know how kids these days can put up with all of the garbage anime that is on nowadays. Maybe its because anime cartoons sadly really are 1000 times better than the crap America can think up these days. I just saw Power Ranger costumes at Wal-mart the other day, which means America is so low on ideas they had to repeat a show that in my opinion was still sub par from other awesomeness back in the ‘80s and ‘90s. I remember in high school missing X-men so much that I found and downloaded EVERY episode of X-men on some pirated file sharing network. The quality is crappy, but I recently tested converting it onto an iPod. The quality is pretty good when it shrinks to the size of a thumbnail J And btw, still just as classic as the first time I watched it.

5 Things that Happened Yesterday

Ok I have to cheat and backdate to a better day than Saturday. Friday might work out better.

1- I was up very late Thursday night (aka 1:30 AM Friday morning!) because I got my new Blackberry Curve in the mail. Of course when you get a new toy you have to play around with it for awhile. I feel more professional with it now than ever, and it doesn’t hurt to know that it was FREE and that my company paid for it and is paying my cell phone bill from now on. HUZZAH!

2-I got up at 7:00 AM to get ready and give myself time to drive 45 minutes down to Springville to work. I know way to start off the list with something so exciting! I guess going to work I scream lyrics to songs I listen to with my ipod, yes my iPod because my car is so ghetto it doesn’t have a stereo. You can imagine looking into another car speeding by you in the interstate and seeing this kid screaming My Chemical Romance and Muse to the top of his lungs. What can I say? I’m keeping my voice fresh for a good night of Karaoke or Rockband that is lonnnnng overdue.

Anyway, work can be pretty burdensome at times—going out to eat every day on the company, chatting on facebook, etc. Honestly, going out to eat is a curse now I am so sick of eating out at places. I thought I would never say that. Plus, little breaks are needed here and there when at times I’m working 10 hour days (not including the commute). But it pays the bills, can’t complain… too much! :P I got everything caught up at work Friday and had extra time to chat away with a few friends.

3-One of those friends I chatted with on facebook was Alla. She was making these little hints that she had nothing to do on a Friday night and wanted to do something in the presence of my company, but I guess she wanted me to initiate the request as if it was I who really wanted to do something with her. Nice try Alla! Everybody wants to be wanted I guess lol :P. I suggested I could stop by for 30 minutes or so. Well she convinced me instead to ditch the Halloween party I promised to goto to hang out with her instead for the whole night… way past the time I originally planned to head home. Mission Accomplished (for her).

4-I saw Appaloosa, a new Western flick with Viggo Mortenson and Ed Harris. It was a little slow, but it was a true Western. By the end I decided that I liked it quite a bit. I would give it a 7 out of 10. Viggo and Ed get into this gunfight that lasted like 5 seconds. As they’re lying on the ground shot up, Viggo remarks, “That was quick.” And Ed Harris responds, “Yeah, everybody could shoot.” Classic!

5-Alla and I went to a bonfire to hang out with my buddies Elric, Jeremy, and a few others. We weren’t planning to stay long, but Elric left to get a friend so I figured we could stay til he got back. WRONG! After 45 minutes without him returning we just left, went back to Alla’s and chatted away about how we both whine about everything. I am the understanding type of guy who sympathizes. Alla likes to mock my whining about trivial things (it’s all I whine about… I’m kinda Seinfeld-ish, a product of what I watch) and tells me I need to grow some. Thanks Alla. You are a true friend. ;) As my friend “Old-man” Skyler Anderson puts it, “That’s what friends are for: they make sure you are okay first, then they proceed to make fun of you and ridicule you.” Of course, he made this comment after sharing a story about how he flew off his long board one time and cut his knee up really bad.

5 Favorite Places to Eat
I would steal the line from my friend Rachel and say I am all about eating out, but lately I’ve become a little jaded from eating out so much. I literally go out to eat at work every day, and not just to Wendy’s, we goto Red Robin, Chilis, Los Hermanos, and other middle-tier restaurants as well! I love these places, and I really do love eating out, but I wish I could cut back somewhat. I don’t want to get burned out! Speaking of Rachel. Rachel likes to think that I am a cheap-skate just because she caught my brother Nick Kenny and me arguing about the price of a can of tomato sauce at the grocery store. Touché, Rachel, touché! BUT, HOWEVER! Going out to eat has been something I always deemed as the finer things of life and is something that I have spent countless thousands of my student loan dollars on just to partake of such finer things. Eat your heart out Rachel!

1-Hole in the wall italian – this is a dedication to all the Italian holes that retain the authenticity of little town Italy, like Marino’s, the restaurant I worked at before my mission, run by Sicilians in a Sicilian style, or like Gloria’s Little Italy in Provo, run by a family of Toscani (I think) who may have lived in America for 12 years, but still probably can’t get the English language quite down. I remember one time at Marino’s, this redneck couple sat down at a table and when I came to take their order, they literally scoffed me because of the menu prices. Joe Marino overheard them, came over, and told them in these exact words, “Hey, you got a problem with my prices? Fazoli’s is down the road, go enjoy yourself down there. You want some real Italian food? Stay here, shut your mouth and order. You understand?” Haha, spoken like a true Sicilian. You rock Joe!

If you have to go to a big chain restaurant, I’ll point you over to Carabbas. My parent’s took me there right after I returned home from Italy, and I was still impressed. I have to add that I am an Italian snob and not too many things impress me Italian—I think the Olive Garden is garbage (sorry Rachel)—but I give Carabbas a nod of approval. It takes a few liberties to keep the American crowd happy, but it’s good stuff.

2-Carl’s Jr – Carl’s Jr rates so high on this list because as a burger joint, it’s a place I goto frequently. In fact, whenever I am craving a burger, I honestly don’t even consider any other fast food joint other than Carl’s! The Western Burger is unparalleled. Those commercials you see where they place fastfood in a restaurant and trick people into thinking that the expensive restaurant prepared it? The Pizza Hut Tuscani pastas is absolutely, ridiculously unrealistic and false; the Carl’s Jr. Six Dollar Burger is absolutely believable.

3-Chili’s – Chili’s is amazing, and not just for their food. When you watch those Olive Garden commercials where the guy is like, “when you’re here, you’re family!” that is exactly what Chili’s has done with my friends and me. I have never been to any place so many times with my friends than I have at Chili’s. In fact, we used to goto Chili’s so much that one time we placed a ban on Chili’s lasting several months just so we could try as a group to go to other places and give them a shot.

4-Jimmy Johns – I was first introduced to Jimmy Johns in Omaha by my step bro Matt “Richdawg” Richardson. He and one of my cousins from Minnesota were talking it up so much. My cousin talked it up so much that he was considering finding a market to open up a chain of JJ’s to own (yeah he is rich like that). With so much hype, I was afraid it would be an EPIC FAIL when I tried it. No way. I was still blown away. The sandwiches are so simple, but the quality is unparalleled. Make sure you get the white, French bread.

5-Mexican holes – Ya I had to give a shout out to Mexican holes-in-the-wall. I am a monster fan of holes of all sorts because they usually retain the authenticity of the culture they represent (see #1). You know you hit the right place when you look up at the menu and notice gross things like tongues, stomachs, livers, and other appalling items that proper Americans (including myself) would never eat. I never said to order those things, just make sure they’re on the menu, then order a damn taco.

5 Things I'm Looking Forward To:
1-Investing with Richdawg in property in Omaha worthy only of a slumlord.

2-Paying off my student debt
3-The day when I finally have the willpower to start working out with Tony Horton again. P90X owns me. “Ab Ripper X. I hate it! But I love it!” You rock Tony.
4-Superbowl Sunday, the greatest Holiday of the year. (And yes we had a discussion about Superbowl vs. Christmas. I’ll post it up later in the blog.)
5-My brother Nick Kenny’s wedding. This is just a further demonstration of how pathetic I am that my brother can get married twice before I could even get close to being married once!

5 Things on My Wish List
1-Self discipline – the one thing I lack to accomplish anything else noteworthy. Ambition, desire, etc. Cake.

2-Helicopter (and piloting lessons) – This is digging deep, but when I retire this is what I want to do. Maybe I can volunteer my time to search and rescue like Harrison Ford or hospital emergencies.

3-Unlimited cash flow so I could travel all the roads left in my shoes and SERVE in NGOs and orphanages for the rest of my life… wait this is Rachel’s dream. Haha! Actually I would wish for unlimited cash flow as well, but not to live in orphanages. Serving isn’t bad, but I would make sure I get my share of comfortable living and unlimited travel to the whole world. Scarface inspired me with his statue of Atlas which had the inscription, “The world is yours.” Unfortunately this was inscribed in crummy ‘80s pink neon lights that ruined the whole statue for me when I saw it.

4-Return to Italy. I’ve been planning this trip for years and I always back out for different reasons.

5-Wishing that Rachel Brown wouldn’t lie to me about being barren. That is just evil!

5 People I TAG:
Since these stupid Tag, forwarding things are all against the fiber and being of my soul, I won’t tag anyone in the sense that they have to do this, but I’ll tag them in on facebook so they can read it. They won’t get this far though. By the time they get past the first half-page, they’ll do a half-assed skim job and call it good, to which I love them all the same for it. You guys rock!